I finally had lunch today with Bill Lobdell, the LA Times reporter from Orange County who wrote a front page article several months ago about becoming so seriously disenthralled with Christianity and Christians that he lost his faith in Christ. We were going to meet two weeks ago, but he was covering the fires that were raging in Orange County and so we had to reschedule to today.
I drove out to the Wahoo's Fish Tacos in South Coast Plaza to meet this person who had the honesty to go public with his dismay and disillusionment. His picture had been attached to his article so I figured that I could spot him in the lunch crowd but I wasn't sure he would be able to spot me. Like any good reporter, he'd been to my blog, seen my picture, so there was simultaneous recognition of each other.
He went first. "So tell me about your ministry." I spent the next 10 minutes explaining my own evolution as a Christian and as a pastor, going from someone who relished the institutional church to someone who is committed to seeing Christ redeem myself and the Church from our self-absorption and self-righteous conceit. "I no longer am concerned about pastoring a large and popular church. I have dedicated my remaining time to fostering a church that is obviously trying to emulate the things that matter to Christ. Like biblical reconciliation. Like responding to the AIDS crisis, global warming and injustice." He didn't seem to have any problem with any of that.
It was my turn to be the reporter. "What was the response to your article (I have pasted that article on my blog;
Monday, July 23: What Would You Say to a Crestfallen Brother?)?" He said that he'd received about 2,500 responses, more than double the previous record at the Times. Typically, about half of the responses to other articles he'd written were negative, but in this case, 99% were very supportive and understanding of his plight. Someone high up in the Vatican had written in his support. Several pastors wrote, admitting to having lost their faith in Christ and Christianity too, but not daring to admit this to their churches. He also said that he'd received loads of requests to meet with him but mine was the only request he'd embraced. "Why did you accept mine?" I asked. "Honestly, it was because your assistant (Wendy Wong) was such a bulldog about us getting together. A nice bulldog, but very persistent. I knew that we were going to have to meet."
Even though this wasn't a formal pastoral counseling session, I do want to respect Bill's privacy to a large degree. So I won't reveal here most of what we discussed. What I will report is that his biggest 'discovery' was that too many pastors and leaders of Christian organizations didn't really believe Jesus' gospel. They all talk about it incessantly, but in actuality, he uncovered rampant tolerance of immorality within the ranks (e.g., RCC and pedophile priests; Paul and Jan Crouch of Trinity Broadcast Network; greed, lusting after power, etc.) while apparently ignoring or downplaying things that mattered most to Jesus (e.g., helping the poor, embracing both outcasts and enemies, leading down-to-earth, out-in-the-open human lives). A major publisher has signed him up to expand his original article into a 23-chapter book. Starting next Monday, he's taking a 5-month leave from the Times to write this. I can hardly wait to read it.
If you know me, then you shouldn't be surprised to hear that I agreed with his condemning assessment. I reminded him that one of my personal axioms is that I will not defend the indefensible. However, I related that I had dedicated myself to two things: 1) To steer clear of all this power-crap; and 2) to be used by God to redeem the Church. That first priority helps to keep me from poisoning my soul (and going to way too many senseless meetings!) and the second one is what fuels my ardor to see Christ redeem his wayward Church.
"Shouldn't Christians be the best examples of what Jesus taught and did? Instead, they seem like the worst examples." I said, "I hate that too. But here's what I think: Christians shouldn't portray themselves as being better than other people. We're just as fallible, just as inconsistent, maybe even more hypocritical. But knowing Christ should enable me to confess those shortcomings quicker, to grieve them and repent of them, and should propel me into Jesus' arms. Not just so he would forgive me but that he would be given license to transform me, to replace my racism with a love for all, for example. Over time, with enough of us involved in this humbling process, we should see more examples of individual Christians, churches, and Christian organizations that are obviously emulating the whole gospel."
I truly considered it a blessing and a privilege to meet Bill and to wrestle with matters of faith and practice. I went into this appointment with no agenda to save him or anyone else @ Wahoo's. My only agenda was to meet this honest and damaged reporter and to experience a convergence of our respective journeys. I believe that that happened. I give him loads of credit for extending himself to this unknown, Baptist minister. And give lots of credit to Wendy for making this connection a reality.
I hope that the two of us will stay in touch. I'll let you all know when his book comes out.
Peace,
pKen.
Comments (112)
God bless all of you!
cool! glad you got to meet. I wonder if you'll get a mention in his book?
So very true in so many ways. Thank you for your honesty.
This is.... amazing. I just wrote a post about how disillusioned I was with some of the Christian banter that goes on around Xanga... and how I've been searching for well-balanced, well-written "good examples". You've restored my faith in Christians, anyway. Thank you.
Thanks for posting this, and for meeting with him. I was just talking with a friend yesterday about how the big draw of Fundamentalism is also its greatest flaw: it has an answer for every issue, no matter how minor, which means that you don't ever have to think about anything. The Christian life would be so much easier if we didn't actually have to wrestle with what God is calling us to do at any given moment. We fail to be followers of Christ when we become followers of our own man-made laws.
I think another thing that has made me suspicious of "born-again" Christians (particularly - sorry - Christians on this site) is their insistence that every word in the Bible is the word of God and absolutely true. I was raised Catholic, and in my biblical education, no one ever tried to make me think that the every bible story happened just as it was written on the page. I was taught that the creation myth was probably just that - a story to explain something our human minds can't otherwise comprehend.
Now, when I have discussions with Christians, they deny the possibility of evolution, and instead point me towards "science" that "proves" the bible unerringly true (let's leave aside the question of how someone can only believe the so-called science that proves their own worldview, and not any of the peer-reviewed, hard science that explains our world).
I personally feel that an attitude like that is sucking all the beauty and magic from the bible. Like other sacred texts, it is a riddle, and a labrinth to walk. Every person discovers their own particular answers from a book like this. While Christ was specific in his "big" lessons (humility, charity, love, etc...and you sound like you're really working to emulate these things - bless you for that), he also said a lot of stuff that's confusing. Stuff meant to stop your complacency and go "WTF?" Very Zen master, that Jesus...
Wow.
It's very fascinating, to me, and a little discouraging!, because I was raised an atheist but am now trying to experience Christianity. I thought very much like Mr. Lodell. I couldn't handle the hypocracisy. Then again, I live in a specific place in the South where mega-churches about and people try to convert you on the street, not even getting to know you! (Not to make it political, but Bush really doesn't help. At least, not as a Christian leader.)
But, I'm beginning to see there are people like you, my boyfriend, and his church who try to start with themselves, humble themselves, outreach to serious crises, not assume they are better than anyone, follow the teachings of Jesus by helping the poor, doing outreach in a positive, non-demeaning way, to the illegal latinos here, etc.
I really like this. It reminds me that there is positivity in Christianity. The bad, like always, just gets more publicity.
enjoyed the read. I wish I lived close enough for a visit to your congregation. :o)
hey, that's cool. Yeah I know that many churches have serious issues, and I know people who have just stopped going to church altogether because they find it's actually distracting them from growing in Christ.
Great entry!
Thank you for such an insightful blog. Sometimes I forget the basics of what Christ taught and get wrapped up in what's going on in my world and need to step back a few steps and review just where I'm at. I will look for more of your writings.
V
Thanks for sharing your experience. Now to Him who is able to keep you from falling... May He bless you and fill you with joy, pleace, and love.
*big sigh* what to say it's true. Sometimes I hate church, sometimes I wonder if it's worth the heart ache I experience... as a pastor's wife. There have been a couple of times in the midst of my anguish I have cried out GOD, WHERE ARE YOU!?!? We have had churches do us in in ways I would never repeat because I don't care to relive any of those memories.
You know what, I love Jesus with my whole heart, He has walked me through some pretty dark times in my life. And I find it so encouraging to 'run' into others who have hearts on their sleeves and share the honesty of the gospel. My Sister-in-law, so sweet she is, once said to me when we were discussing people who force-feed christianity, that we need to think of it as bringing Jesus to people, not trying to bring people to Jesus. It made a lot of sense, after all Jesus sat with the sinners, he didn't sit in a building and wait for them to come Him!
Truthfully bringing Jesus to people is better done with how well we live, not how well we preach.
The "Great commission' was not building big churches with 1000's of people. It's not wrong to have big churches, but what is the focus on?
Anyway... good post, thank you for sharing it in honesty and openness.. it is always a breath of fresh air!
I am simply amazed at the number of comments from people I've never met or heard from before! If you live too far to visit our church you can always download our messages (www.ebcla.org) and we've posted 3 (soon to be 4) brief videos (under the Capital Campaign tab) that tries to capture what we're about. I am so encouraged to know that there are growing numbers of you out there who are still open to the example of the Humble Shepherd. I'll be checking out some of your blogs, too!
Amen...I see the rise of the mega church as the death of personal, intimate faith carried out through love and service. Not all mega churches are bad, but most giving me a bad taste in my mouth, like the pastor's trying to sell me something. I also don't like the fact that huge churches intent on improving their images can never really be the same kind of intimate family and have the fellowship so beneficial to faith and growth. Also, the church's growing role in politics has undoubtedly turned off scores of people; who wants to be a Christian if Christians are portrayed as pushy, hypocritical, and power-hungry?
I'm glad to have read your post. Your frankness of belief is refreshing.
SDG
Reading this is worth my time.
Thank you so much for posting this. Very insightful.
I've gotten to the point where I am very wary of using the term "Christian" to identify myself. It's just such a loaded word, weighed down with baggage I don't want to have to fight through.
pKen, good thing you did there. I thank God for you; thank God for Wendy. I am asking God to continue this saga into eternity.
On the other hand, it means that more and more people (both inside the churches and outside the churches) need to experience the Gospel, and not just buying to a bunch of doctrines...
I've often wondered how Jesus would respond to modern crises and controversies. I've seen so many churches and groups interpret the Bible in ways that denounce and separate instead of forgive and unite. Isn't God all about Love, universal and eternal?
And I've always known fish tacos have a healing power. Gotta love those Wahoo's black beans. :)
"Shouldn't Christians be the best examples of what Jesus taught and did? Instead, they seem like the worst examples." I said, "I hate that too. But here's what I think: Christians shouldn't portray themselves as being better than other people. We're just as fallible, just as inconsistent, maybe even more hypocritical. But knowing Christ should enable me to confess those shortcomings quicker, to grieve them and repent of them, and should propel me into Jesus' arms. Not just so he would forgive me but that he would be given license to transform me, to replace my racism with a love for all, for example. Over time, with enough of us involved in this humbling process, we should see more examples of individual Christians, churches, and Christian organizations that are obviously emulating the whole gospel."
Absolutely! At my college, we have several Jesus-lovring organizations. I think that's the problem. There's not enough people-loving in these clubs. I've tried out a few different clubs so far and a fault I find in most of these clubs is that these students are trying to impose their interpretation of the Bible on new-clubbers. It becomes this humongous, conforming, (sometimes) people-condemning group.
" a church ...that emulates the things that matters to Christ.." well said!! i wish churches would reflect this more often and that others could perceive this about churches in return.
looking forward to hearing more from the reporter and your encounters with him.
Ah, one of the few xanga featured posts to generate some useful discussion.
I'm a Catholic myself, and I have seen the hypocrosy that you speak off, and I know I'm even guilty of it. It's good to see some helpful commentary.
i guess all Christians aren't bad. not all reporters are either
Take care, and hope you have a great day!
Thank you for posting this experience! I look forward to reading more posts from you and to hear of this book coming from the reporter you saw!