Tuesday, 04 October 2011

• When the Outcasts Choose to Honor You, You'd Better Show Up!

  One of my all-time favorite sayings is "To glorify God is to enhance God's reputation among those who don't believe." It's one thing for me to preach to crowds of Christ-followers, but it's an entirely different matter for me to be invited to address a room full of gay, lesbian, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) persons. I'm guessing that some of them would call themselves Christians or at least grew up in Christian surroundings. But it's a safe bet that most of them wouldn't call themselves Christ-followers and probably 100% of them are pretty freaked out that a Baptist (albeit an American Baptist) minister will be in front of a microphone on October 15th at their 27th Annual Awards Banquet and Pacific Bridge Awards in Chinatown, LA.

   

  So how in the world did the GAPSN board of directors end up nominating me to be a recipient this year of one of their Pacific Bridge Awards? I'm not sure I know all the details, but I'll tell you what I know.

   

  According to their website, the Gay Asian Support Network got its start in October, 1984, as GARP (Gay Asian Rap) on the campus of Calfornia State University, Long Beach. It's mission today is "to provide [a] supportive environment for gay and bisexual Asian Pacific Islander men to meet, network, voice concerns, foster self-empowerment, and to advocate on issues of significance to the gay Asian Pacific Islander community."

   

  Previous recipients of the PB Award have been pro-LGBT politicians, e.g., Congresswoman Judy Chu, LGBT activists, e.g., Harold Kameya (father of a lesbian and PFLAG leader), and prominent gay celebrities, e.g., Star Trek's George Takei ("Mr. Sulu"). This year's recipients are yours truly (hardly a hardcore LGBT advocate) and the Hon. John Chiang, California's State Controller. I've never heard or read anything about his position on all things LGBT but I'm guessing he must be quite supportive if he's been nominated to receive the PB award. Then again, somebody on the GAPSN board nominated me.

   

  In fact, one of the board members came up to me as I was leaving a church-related potluck. Hosted by one of our young adult deacons, his idea was to foster civil conversations among some of our church's young adults and several handfuls of gay or lesbian Asian Pacific Islanders (including one or two who are long-time church members but who keep their sexual orientation way below the church's radar). Speech-making wasn't allowed nor were any petitions circulated. It really was about having rare, honest conversations with API gays and lesbians, the majority of whom identified themselves as Christians, even evangelical ones. I had left Sacramento early that same day in order to make it back in time for this. Part of me wanted to support this effort of my deacon and part of me wanted to make a statement by merely being there that I too believed that this dialogue is really important, especially because it rarely occurs. At least when evangelical Christians are the majority.

   

  Maybe my making it such a priority to attend this dinner and my not putting any of the gays or lesbians on the hot seat that night are representative of why the GAPSN board nominated me to receive one of this year's awards. Having just driven six hours down I-5, even my normally legendary energy levels began to wane, so I excused myself from my conversation circle, thanked the host couple, and headed towards the front door. That's when Alex headed me off.

   

  I'd met Alex a few years back through his work with API California Faith for Equality. So I was a bit surprised when he spoke to me as a trustee of a gay organization that I'd never heard of before. "Pastor Ken, as a member of GAPSN's board, I wanted you to know that you've been nominated to receive one of this year's Pacific Bridge Awards. The banquet will be on October 15th in Chinatown and, well, we wanted to know if you'd even show up to receive your award."

   

  Okay, at that point I was feeling a bit awkward. "Huh? Why have I been nominated to get this award? Do they realize that I'm far from being an outspoken advocate for all LGBT issues?"

   

  He replied, "Oh yes, the rest of the board understands that about you. But they also have heard how, in spite of that being true, you had your church host that event several years back where you invited a former staff member who's now openly gay and a church member who's been a champion of allowing gay men and women to attend your church to dialogue with you in front of about 500 people. You've been willing to meet with some of us, especially some who are Christians and who are wrestling with being part of API churches. Even though you don't agree with all of our agendas, you clearly care about us as people. In short, you're a Bridge Builder between the API Christian Church and the API LGBT communities. Which is why we want to recognize you at our October banquet. But we're not sure that you'd be willing to come so we could give you the award."

   

  To tell you the truth, a significant part of me lives for unsolicited, completely unexpected moments like this. It's one thing to be recognized within your own circle of influence or interest. In my 30+ years in full-time Christian ministry, I've been on the receiving end of enough of those. But until now, I've only received one significant acknowledgment from a nonChristian.  Al was then the director of the secular residential drug treatment center where I'd been volunteering as a Bible study teacher for six years (It's now been 20 years and I'm on the agency's board.)  I was being installed by EBCLA as their new senior pastor as a result of our historic church 'hive.' Normally, the new senior pastor invites a handful of other senior pastors to put on their regalia and to take turns at the mic welcoming me to their ranks. The five or six friends that I invited all said very nice things to me that afternoon. But for the life of me, I can only remember what Al said. I'd invited Al to give greetings from where I'd been volunteering since 1991. Heck, I invited all my recovering addict friends who were part of my Bible study to be there too. They were bunched in the back of the sanctuary, watched over by their rehab counselors. When it was finally Al's turn, this is what I remember him saying: "Hey man, so I'm not wearing one of those black robes. Heck, I'm not even a pastor. I'm not even sure what all this is. I think Pastor Ken is getting a promotion, which is cool. He deserves it. But to be honest, I came here with some mixed feelings. When I saw him earlier in the parking lot, I wanted to know if his getting promoted now means that he won't have time to come down to the house. But he told me that he's gonna keep coming every month. [I swear, I think I saw a tear start the slow descent down one of Al's cheeks!] And I was glad to hear that, because, you know what? Rev. Fong brings light into our darkness, but he always leaves room for other people."

   

  To me, that was the moment when God was glorified. Unsolicited. Unexpected. And from a person who doesn't share my Christian beliefs. What?

   

  GAPSN's Alex has reassured me that, like all awardees, I will have 3 minutes in front of a mic to share with their members and supporters where I'm coming from and why I'm so proud to be receiving this award from them. While some will clearly be aghast that I would (a) accept this award, and (b) accept it so publicly, I see this as an opportunity to demonstrate to a room full of skeptics and those who've, sad to say, been deeply damaged by the church that the God I believe in enables me to love all kinds of people, even if we don't see eye-to-eye on everything. That same Jesus encourages me to risk whatever my reputation is by spending time with outcasts and even 'known sinners.' The way I see it, when those who've voted themselves "least likely to be in church" decide to thank a Baptist pastor for building a bridge of compassion and respect instead of perpetuating a dividing wall of hostility, I've definitely got to show up for that.

   

  Besides, as I told my wife, this is one of those rare events where I can arrive attired in my Hugo Boss 'metrosexual' finery and be appreciated for my fashion sense, not criticized for dressing too nice to be a pastor.  LOL

   

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